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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25529215">A Look Back</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/jagwriter78/pseuds/jagwriter78'>jagwriter78</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Doctor Who (2005)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2007-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2007-01-07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-20 08:12:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,715</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25529215</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/jagwriter78/pseuds/jagwriter78</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>This is set between the episodes Fear Her and Army of Ghosts. It always kind of bugged me a little that Ten dropped that bomb about having been a father at one point on Rose and they never got back to it. So this is just a little something that I think could have happened.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ten/Rose</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>A Look Back</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Rose stepped outside of the Tardis, she walked into darkness. She could see tiny lights dancing around her, very much like glowworms back home, but that was all she saw. For a moment, she held out her hand, and a few tiny insect-like creatures buzzed around her fingers. She giggled at the tingling sensation on her skin as she turned her hand in each and every direction, and the little creatures crept up and down her long, slender fingers.<br/>
<br/>
She was so absorbed watching the shimmering lights dance on her fingers in the dark that she didn't hear the Doctor emerging from the blackness.<br/>
<br/>
"Cute, aren't they?" he said all of a sudden, and Rose jumped at the sound of his gleeful voice.<br/>
<br/>
"Frubisans. Kinda like glowworms on Earth," he told her as they both watched the insects fly off into the night, "They are just a tiny little bit radioactive."<br/>
<br/>
"Radioactive?" Rose echoed alarmed, "S'not dangerous, is it?"<br/>
<br/>
"Nah. It's what makes 'em glow. They got a little nuclear reactor in their bums. The locals caught 'em and used 'em to power up their generators. Caused a big fuss a century ago. Ooooh, that was really nasty. Sorta like Greenpeace against humanity back on Earth - just a lot more violent. They wanted the frubies free and flying, the locals wanted their electricity. They argued all their previous means of power generation were..." His gaze fell on Rose, and he noticed that he probably had lost her interest already. She had turned away from him, her eyes fixed on a dim light in the distance.<br/>
<br/>
"What's that?" she asked and whirled around to face him, her blonde hair flying loosely over her shoulders.<br/>
<br/>
"Oh, just the next town over."<br/>
<br/>
"Can we go there?"<br/>
<br/>
"Yes, I mean, no, not really. Unless you want to climb down a miler of steep rocks that is."<br/>
<br/>
Rose took a few steps away from the Tardis into the night. She spread out her arms and turned around in circles, letting the sudden warm breeze of air flow around her body. Dozens and dozens of frubisans gathered around her immediately, spinning with her and lighting up the dark night.<br/>
<br/>
A smile spread on the Doctor's lips. He never grew tired of seeing the girl's enthusiasm for discovering new alien worlds. Even after all their adventures, after all the bad things she had seen and had had to endure, there still was this spark of a child inside her that could make him forget all that in an instant.<br/>
<br/>
And yet, here in front of him stood a woman, not a child. She had grown so much since he had first met her. From teenager to woman, and he had been with her all the way. She was no longer the child he had picked up in that dark basement one night. She didn't need his guidance anymore, hadn't needed it for quite a while now. And still, the child-like enthusiasm had never left her, and he hoped it never would.<br/>
<br/>
It was like seeing Susan all over again, way back when he had taken her to Earth. She had grown so much in such little time, and though she was always at his side, he had hardly noticed - Not until the day that she had announced that she was going to leave him. His little girl had grown up right under his nose and he hadn't noticed. Now, it was the same with Rose.<br/>
<br/>
"Wha'?" Rose's voice suddenly brought him out of his reverie. Her head was titled back, her hair dangling loosely, and she wiped a strand of hair out of her face, "I got somefink funny about me?"<br/>
<br/>
"Just appreciating the view." The smile on his lips widened as he approached her and held his hand out to her. "In the mood for a stroll?"<br/>
<br/>
"Here? I thought there was nuffink around but rocks."<br/>
<br/>
"C'mere, I'll show you."<br/>
<br/>
He wiggled his fingers at her, and, like always, she reached out for the Doctor's hand. Their fingers intertwined slowly, locking as if they were fitted for each other. She flashed him a quick smile before she drew closer to him, their shoulders brushing lightly. A silent nod let him know that she was ready to head out, and off they went into the darkness. A swarm of frubisans hovered above and around them, lighting the path wherever they went. Right, then left, right again and then straight ahead they walked in silence for quite a while until the frubisans suddenly vanished and everything turned pitch black around them.<br/>
<br/>
"'s a joke?" Rose said as the Doctor drew her closer to him and shushed her.<br/>
<br/>
"Wait, wait, wait, and.... wait, and.... there it is!"<br/>
<br/>
Far away at the horizon, a bright orange light suddenly lit up the night as a sun appeared into their view. As sudden as the planet had risen over the horizon, as sudden it stopped with about two thirds of its mass still hidden in the blackness. The orange rays barely touched the ground, and were just enough to light up the small clearing up on the plateau where the Doctor and Rose were standing hand in hand.<br/>
<br/>
"I had a son," the words came out of the Doctor's mouth like a whisper. His eyes were fixed on the horizon, he didn't dare look at Rose's reaction. He could feel that she was staring at him, her blue eyes piercing him like a needle. He knew she had wanted an explanation ever since he had let that slip earlier in the day. As hard as it was for him to open up to those around, show them his vulnerable core - Rose deserved an answer, and he was going to give her one. She was the one he trusted, the one he had allowed into his world.<br/>
<br/>
"It was a long time ago on Gallifrey, way before the war destroyed everything," he continued as he felt Rose's hand squeeze his tighter.<br/>
<br/>
"Where is he now?" her voice echoed hoarsely through the night.<br/>
<br/>
"Gone. Along with everyone else."<br/>
<br/>
The words hung in midair for a while. Rose had no idea how to answer. This was the first time she had heard about the Doctor's past, about where he came from, about his family. She had often wondered if there had been someone out there in time and space who had called him part of their family. And all of a sudden, she was travelling with a man who had had a child, and had lost it already. It was like he had told her not so long ago. Everything lives, then everything dies, and he is left behind alone. It was the curse of the Time Lords.<br/>
<br/>
"Was he a Time Lord 's well?"<br/>
<br/>
"Yes," was the Doctor's short reply, and Rose didn't push. He had started this on his own, he would finish it when he felt it was time.<br/>
<br/>
They stood in silence for a while, staring at the orange lights dancing above the buildings in the far distance. Their hands were still intertwined, tighter than ever before. Rose felt like he wasn't willing to let her slip out of his grip, let her get away from him. He clung to her like he had never before. If she was gone, he would be left behind alone.<br/>
<br/>
"We regenerate and regenerate and regenerate and live on for generations," he suddenly started to speak up again. He turned to his side to look at Rose shortly, and she met his gaze with a warm, loving smile. His lips pursed into a weak smile of his own before he turned away from her once again, "Then you realize that your body got stuck in reverse. Happens to one in a million. You die - and you're dead. Deader than a doornail. No regeneration. No new body, new teeth, new hair. If you're in battle, that's the last thing you wish for."<br/>
<br/>
His gaze wandered over to Rose once again. Silently, she wrapped her arm around his and drew her body close to his for comfort. That was all she had to offer. She couldn't think of any words that would make the heartbreak that she saw in his eyes go away. Tenderly, she placed her chin against his shoulder, resting her whole body against his.<br/>
<br/>
A long sigh escaped his lips. He hadn't felt like this in a very long time. He felt like home. And it felt good.<br/>
<br/>
"I never talked to anyone else about this besides Susan."<br/>
<br/>
Rose wondered about that remark briefly, but she didn't want to ask. He had trusted her with part of his family story, and she was not going to spoil that by asking stupid questions. He would tell her when time was due - like he had eventually told her about his son.<br/>
<br/>
"Well, this is where you're supposed to say 'who is Susan?'."<br/>
<br/>
A snort escaped Rose's lips, and she shook her head lightly, "Who is Susan?"<br/>
<br/>
The answer came promptly, "My granddaughter."<br/>
<br/>
"Your granddaughter?" Rose gasped as she scrutinized the Doctor from head to toe, "Just exactly how old are you?"<br/>
<br/>
That question bought the laughter back into the Doctor's voice, "Older than old. In Earth years, I think I could be your great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather. I look pretty dandy for a lad that old, don't I?"<br/>
<br/>
"Swell," she uttered seriously, then joined in his laughter.<br/>
<br/>
Slowly, the Doctor's laughter died down and he just watched the woman at his side. Her head bobbed sideways as she laughed, and strands of short blonde hair seemed to dance over her shoulders. She didn't even see it coming when he let go off her hand. Her laughter stopped abruptly, and she looked at him wide-eyed. As fast as he had let go off her, he pulled her back into his arms and into a tight embrace.<br/>
<br/>
Her face came to rest in the crook of his neck like a perfect fit. He closed his eyes, taking in the sweet smell as he buried his nose deep inside her hair. It was just a short moment of hope, of love, of tenderness, for when he opened his eyes again, he saw at the horizon that even here, on this remote planet, the storm was approaching.</p>
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